It's Friday. Sex?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
