This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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