32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize