There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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