I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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