I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize