talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he thought i was a dude.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
