I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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