Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
