At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
