dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
