Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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