Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
