Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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