That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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