But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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