So gin and wine won't be happening again
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
