you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
