If i come over, it means nothing
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
