Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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