so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
