I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have fence marks all over my body
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize