The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
