they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
