And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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