Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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