you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
