So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
