Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
