haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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