my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
