no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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