I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize