I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
