I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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