Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
