I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
