let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
