I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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