and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
