So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
