3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
