I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just gift wrapped bread.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
