I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
