Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
