i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
