I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My vagina is very pro this idea
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
