I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
