Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
