If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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