TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
