Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I will pee on everything he values.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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