you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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