why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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