Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
