Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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