What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
