Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
