my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Drake has all the answers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
