so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
