So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
