Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
