Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
