I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
