Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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