she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
two words: eviction party
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
