I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
