Where did you get a picture of my penis
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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